Apparently, I’m a brainless lump of amino acids mixed with some calcium and water wrapped in keratin. As it turns out, if I had the choice, I’d spontaneously set myself ablaze at the very first opportunity I stumble upon. If I see a ledge, I will delightfully leap ahead and form a charming crater. If I hear a car, I will undoubtfully try to stop it by hand so I can greet the driver. If a gun happens to find its way into my arms, I wouldn’t even pause to ponder and surely pull the trigger. If I become disoriented and wind up in a bar, I will purchase pure ethanol, pour it over my barren head and implore the barman for a zippo. Yes, I’m just that ignorant.
Electricity is another fine example of scary and absurd technologies fools like myself should evade. By far one of humanity’s most hazardous discoveries, this vile and corruptive force has been known to claim the lives of innumerous poor souls. It is a widely known fact that over a hundred of this world’s brightest minds buy a one-way ticket to the buzz train every single day. Thousands of households are desolated every passing minute due to electricity related complications. 8 out of 10 doctors advocate electricity-free households. Edison rolls in his grave and children weep over their lost innocence.
I was therefore not surprised to learn I was denied access to 220v-110v wall socket adapters. Usage of such mischievous tools could result in serious harm to body and property. Failure to properly connect an adapter to a wall socket could incite a fire. Failure to properly mount the cable into the adapter could result in immediate annihilation of the human race.
Hope of a better future overflows me when I learn eggheads responsible of saving me from myself have deemed this doomsday device inappropriate for mass consumption. Despite my futile attempts to dislodge the northern hemisphere by connecting my camera charger using an adapter, I’m still here to tell the tale. All I had to do is halt my quest for an adapter before the third mall and resort to soldering some spare metallic parts, unearthed from the darkest corners of the house.