Humanity is doomed. We are just too brilliant to keep on living. Everyone can feel it, but like the sheep we are, we fail to notice the looming cliff ledge, slowly pacing towards our inescapable demise. We have outgrown our intellectual capacity. Any bit of information added since 2781 BC brings destiny a step closer. We are facing imminent extinction by the hands of our own wisdom.
Being the average sheep herd we are, we have our share of black sheep. Some of them have taken it upon themselves to enlighten the herd and warn us of the danger looming ahead. News networks all over the globe are alerting the homo sapiens species of the grave dangers unfolding in front of their unsuspecting herd. Every self-respecting website publishes at least one article spelling out the well known fact that technology is extremely dangerous. Not even one newspaper failed to bring forth today’s hot headline – “Modern day technology is the bane of our existence”. Radio broadcasts elaborate – “It thins out the herd”. Ewes, rams and lambs alike all know by now that using technology limits the herd’s collective intellect, slowly turning it to a crowd of brainless zombies, unable to care for themselves.
Black sheep have successfully taught us to hinder inventions such as GPS, the Internet and computer games. Sadly, they were too late to do the same for thesaurus, books, pen and paper, wheel and fire. Those unholy inventions and discoveries have already taken their toll on the herd. Young lambs no longer look for words in the dictionary, but find them in two keyboard strokes; ewes no longer tell stories around the fireplace, but write them in books available for all; rams no longer draw on cavern walls with charcoals, but paint with too much detail and too many colors on cloth; herds no longer break their legs and perish on their way to neighbor herds, but drive in air-conditioned cars with leather seats; sheep no longer get ill of uncooked meat, but devour delicious seasoned steaks. The herd has agonized for thousands of years without even realizing it.
Clearly, scientific inventions and discoveries that ease every day lives are the devil’s brainchild. Those who know they know nothing and keep on trying to disclose as many of the meadow’s great secrets as they can are nothing but mere devil worshipers. Sheep that fear not looking beyond the grass that lies before them do nothing but harm. Foul creatures that dare share their fruit of labor so that the entire herd may advance and excel are inconsiderate, egocentric and self-serving sinners. Those who define the very meaning of being stupid by negation are the horsemen of the apocalypse.
I call to you today my fellow sheep — let us put an end to this morbid state of affairs. Let us break this vicious circle of knowledge passing, stop this vile orgy of technology and return to our lonely roots. Let us burn Google on the stake, melt our GPS-capable iPhone, demolish our libraries, drown every type of vehicle, incinerate all the books, halt all scientific progress and go look for red round small things in the big place with the green and brown big stuff where the other lamb just goed.